We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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