Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.

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(410): View more from Maryland

it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time

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(804): View more from Virginia

well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.

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(404): View more from Georgia

So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Are you ok?!

(618): View more from Illinois

I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.

(336): View more from North Carolina

Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.

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