I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
