my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
