I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
