hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
