Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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