Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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