i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He felt like a one man threesome
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
