Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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