hell yes lets make some ravioli
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
