Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
