Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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