if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
