OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
