just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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