Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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