I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
