the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
