After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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