Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
only if we run a train.
done.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
