C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
