if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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