It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
too bad you live with your parents still
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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