Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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