And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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