SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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