You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
