SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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