those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
