Where is the hickey?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
