anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
