We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
