I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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