So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i think my cat just said my name.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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