I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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