the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
