Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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