Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
