It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
