You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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