Do you still have your period?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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