Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Randomize
