Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
