i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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