your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
