It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Randomize
