Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
