i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
