I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
