Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
