Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
