And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
