I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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