Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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