dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
