I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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